Saturday, June 7, 2014

Deep seated sin

A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh. -Ezekial 36:26

I've been finding myself praying for this for a long time now. "Lord, please, give me a new heart." What is my new realization? I've been praying for this in reference to my character. I've wanted the Lord to change my character to be more like Him, but stumbling upon this verse that I never knew existed made me think. What does it mean by "stony heart"? How can my character be stony? The heart symbolizes one's ability and capacity to love and forgive. A stony one is no longer able to do that. I really needed this verse because while I do care deeply about people, I don't have this deep love for them. I can't and honestly, I don't think I know how to anymore. I will confess to a hardened heart. There are people that have been in my life from all aspects that have caused me to give up. I have been depending on God and praying and seeking Him, but it seems as if my efforts have gone so far. The Bible says that if you knock, the door shall be opened; seek and you shall find.
"Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded." James 4:8 KJV Is that not what I have been doing? Why was nothing happening? Why was nothing getting better? Why is it that I did not even get to feel the same closeness that I had felt before? Not saying that I've been right there with God, but there was a period where I would feel so strongly such a joy and peace that only the Holy Spirit could have provided. I just want that back and more. I just want to crave God the way I did before. Have I not been seeking you God? , have been my recent thoughts.
My heart has been hardened; where was I expecting Christ to come in? So, now, I have a new prayer.

Dear Lord,

Please remove this stony heart. Please give me the strength to forgive those who constantly bring me pain.While I would much rather be out of these situations, if your plan is to use me to glorify you, then please mold me into a tool of your love. I want to do your will. I want to be closer to you, but just as you constantly forgive me, I need to be able to do the same to those who work against me. Take this pain and hardness out of my heart so I can be a true disciple for you. In your most Holy name. Amen.

It's crazy how easy it is to forgive people who have wronged you once or twice is big ways. The ones I am struggling with are the deeper cuts. I don't mean to, but I know I carry these scars deep inside my heart. I honestly don't know how to even reach them on my own.

We all struggle with sins, some of which we don't even notice we have. This is not the time to have sin engrained in our hearts and mind. During this time of spiritual warfare, the enemy can easily use them to manipulate us. We need to be strong soldiers for Christ!! The world is always watching and waiting for Christians to fall to laugh and say our God is not real. If nothing else holds true, He is real. He is alive. He is coming soon.

If you truly want God to work in your lives and reveal to you and help you with these sins, here is my recommended method.
Step one: Pray.
Step two: Ask people that are close to you to pray for you. (It's not necessary that you tell them exactly why. Those who care will pray their heart out without 'needing' to know your details.)
Step three: Wait for God.

Remember,  you have to earnestly want it and mean it. 

"When Jesus saw him lie, and knew that he had been now a long time in that case, he saith unto him, Wilt thou be made whole?" - John 5:6

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Doubt

It's crazy how much I doubt myself and doubt God. UGH!!! Must I shout it out to believe it?!?! " I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME!!!" How is it possible to know that and to know that we are vines attached to the God of the universe and to know that if we seek we shall find, yet still, not understand?? I feel like the Lord has been revealing to me that His words are in my mind and not my heart. I spend so much time doubting myself and my abilities, just to find in the end, that my prayer to the Lord was long answered; I just turned my back to the blessing. There's a bible story about this, I just don't remember it. Lord, please plant your words in my heart. Please allow my character to be reflective of yours.