Doubt

It's crazy how much I doubt myself and doubt God. UGH!!! Must I shout it out to believe it?!?! " I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME!!!" How is it possible to know that and to know that we are vines attached to the God of the universe and to know that if we seek we shall find, yet still, not understand?? I feel like the Lord has been revealing to me that His words are in my mind and not my heart. I spend so much time doubting myself and my abilities, just to find in the end, that my prayer to the Lord was long answered; I just turned my back to the blessing. There's a bible story about this, I just don't remember it. Lord, please plant your words in my heart. Please allow my character to be reflective of yours.